Brazil Overcoming Social Anxiety

Brené Brown once wrote that shame is the intensely painful feeling of believing one is flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. One person described a lifelong struggle with this feeling, tied to a fear of blushing known as erythrophobia.

For years, they referred to themselves as a “beetroot,” a label of defectiveness that surfaced every time they felt their cheeks grow warm. While many people blush briefly in awkward situations, for this individual it was never simple. The blush itself was not the issue, but the meaning attached to it was. Each time their face reddened, a harsh internal commentary began, insisting that everyone was watching, judging, and finding them weak, ridiculous, and broken.

The fear first took hold during a primary school assembly, where they were called in front of hundreds of children to receive an award. Instead of feeling pride, they were mortified as their face turned bright red and their legs shook. The shame was so overwhelming that they began skipping school to avoid potential recognition, choosing invisibility over reward. This pattern of avoidance followed them into adulthood.

Job interviews became ordeals and work meetings felt like minefields. They avoided new people, struggled to maintain employment, and became increasingly isolated. A vicious cycle took hold: the fear of blushing created anxiety, which made blushing more likely, which then confirmed their deepest fears about themselves. The harder they fought against it, the worse it seemed to become.

They tried numerous strategies to cope, from avoiding eye contact and speaking quickly to end conversations, to researching remedies late at night. It was only through hypnotherapy and self-reflection that they understood the blushing was not the root issue. The core problem was a deep-seated shame, developed in a dysfunctional childhood environment where mistakes were magnified and sensitivity was mocked.

The blush had become a symbol for everything they believed was wrong with them. A turning point came during a moment of exhaustion, when they realized they could no longer continue the war against their own physiology. They began to study the nervous system and learned that blushing is an involuntary response where blood vessels in the face dilate due to social or emotional stimulation.

They read that people with higher emotional sensitivity tend to blush more readily, and that this same sensitivity can make them more empathetic and perceptive. They encountered a story about a monk who was ashamed of his blushing. His teacher pointed to a red maple tree and noted the tree does not become less red by wishing it so; its nature is to blaze without apology. This idea resonated deeply.

Slowly, they made a choice to stop fighting. They began to treat the blush with patience instead of contempt, simply noticing the sensation when it arose without bracing for catastrophe. This shift in approach was difficult and did not undo years of conditioning overnight, but changing the direction of the effort was important. They were no longer trying to eliminate a part of themselves.

They discovered that self-compassion led to more compassion for others. They started to notice the subtle discomfort and self-consciousness in people around them, realizing that nearly everyone fears rejection and wants to belong. Their blushing was simply their nervous system being honest about how much they cared.

Gradually, the isolation lifted. They stayed in conversations longer, accepted social invitations, and allowed themselves to be seen flustered. The world did not end. They also noticed an unexpected trend: the less they worried about blushing, the less they actually blushed.

Their experience led them to a message for others who struggle with parts of themselves they have tried to hide: you are not broken. Sensitivity is not a design flaw, but part of what makes a person perceptive, empathetic, and fully alive. The mind that creates shame can be redirected toward healing. It requires time, patience, and a willingness to sit with discomfort instead of running from it.

When sensitivity is no longer viewed as a weakness, it opens the door to authentic connection. It allows a person to stop performing an edited version of themselves and start showing up as they are. That, they found, is where real connection begins. The “beetroot” still appears sometimes, but it no longer runs the show.

Erythrophobia, while not widely discussed, is recognized by mental health professionals as a specific social anxiety. It can lead to significant avoidance behaviors that impact education, career, and social life. Treatment often involves cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps individuals challenge and change the thought patterns that fuel their fear, and sometimes medication to manage anxiety symptoms. The journey from shame to acceptance, as described, aligns with therapeutic goals of reducing self-judgment and building a more compassionate self-view.