Brazil toxic workplace breeds self-doubt in workers

A woman who once believed she was simply bad at handling stress now recognizes that a toxic workplace was the real cause of her self-doubt. For years, she blamed herself for feeling anxious before meetings and uneasy when certain emails arrived. She tried to become tougher and more resilient, assuming the problem was her own inability to cope.

From the outside, the organization appeared successful and well-regarded. The leadership team was admired, and the person causing her the most stress was seen as charismatic and confident. This made it difficult for her to trust her own feelings.

There was no obvious bullying or shouting. Instead, the harm came from a slow buildup of smaller incidents. Conversations left her feeling ashamed. Criticism was disguised as advice. She often walked away confused, unsure of what had just happened. Praise was inconsistent, sometimes warm and other times followed by being ignored or undermined. The team dynamics made her feel excluded and paranoid, keeping her in a constant state of trying to prove herself.

She became more careful, more accommodating, and more self-critical. She believed that if she communicated perfectly and performed well enough, things would improve. Eventually, she realized she had lost trust in herself. She second-guessed simple decisions, apologized constantly, and felt emotionally drained from monitoring others’ moods to avoid conflict.

During a team meeting, she had a moment of clarity. She saw that her work environment mirrored her home life growing up. The charismatic boss acted as a narcissist, surrounded by people who minimized or excused the toxic behavior. She recognized this as narcissistic abuse in the workplace.

Looking back, she understands how unhealthy environments can make people disconnect from their own instincts. People become focused on keeping the peace, pleasing others, or avoiding criticism, and stop noticing what their mind and body are trying to tell them.

The turning point came when a friend asked her, “Do you actually feel safe there?” The question surprised her because she had never thought about emotional safety at work. She had assumed professionalism meant tolerating discomfort and pushing through. She did not feel able to speak openly without consequences, nor did she feel comfortable making mistakes. She no longer felt calm or secure. Everyone competed for the boss’s approval, which she now sees was used strategically.

Admitting this was painful but also the beginning of change. For the first time, she stopped seeing her anxiety as a personal failure and started recognizing it as information. Her body was responding to an environment that kept her in a state of self-doubt.

Healing took time. She had to rebuild her confidence and reconnect with her own voice. Slowly, she stopped minimizing what she had experienced and stopped blaming herself for being affected by it.

She believes many people carry workplace experiences they have not fully acknowledged because the harm is not always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like slowly becoming smaller, quieter, and more uncertain. Professional experience should increase confidence, not diminish it.

After leaving the job, she felt instant relief and her confidence quickly returned. She realized it was not her fault. She was having a normal response to being in a toxic situation with narcissistic dynamics. The experience helped her recognize similar patterns later and talk to others who feel the same way at work. She notes that finding oneself in familiar dynamics is not uncommon, but what feels familiar is not necessarily healthy.

Dr. Sarah Davies is a chartered counseling psychologist and trauma therapist based in London, UK. She is the author of three self-help guides for recovery from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships: How to Leave A Narcissist… For Good, Raised By Narcissists, and Narcissists At Work.